Told Y’all I Been Networking!

Shout out to the DIME Baller’s Network for the post!

http://ballersnetwork.com/p/en/ballers/dre-baldwin-the-journey-makes-the-player/

Patriot Games

I’m excited right now after watching Team USA crush Greece by 20 something in Beijing (watch it here), avenging their loss to Greece in Japan at the 2006 World Championships. Our (Team USA, that is) defensive efforts are really opening the games up, disrupting the pick & rolls many European teams like to run to death. And our transition/ fast break offense is incredible; if you’ve watched any games you know what happens when we turn games into open floor contests. This was definitely a statement game for Team USA- many pundits had bet that if we were to lose in the preliminary round, it would be today to the Greeks. USA still produces the best basketball teams; the Spains, lithuanias and Greeces of the world can compete with us if we let them have some success early and allow them to hang around. But, when we bring the intensity, commit defensively and put of feet on the gas pedal, there still is no competition. now for some player evaluations…

• LeBron James In terms of physical abilities, LBJ is the best athlete, regardless of sport, in the entire universe right now. If you’re reading this, I don’t need to explain who LeBron is or what he does, and he has been making some spectacular plays here with his athleticism. His volleyball spike of an Angolan player’s shot attempt Tuesday had me hitting rewind on the DVR 5 times. And th way he looked at the guy as he lay on the floor made me double over laughing.
• Kobe Bryant Kobe has made clear throughout that he is here, on Team USA that is, to be the defensive stopper, guarding the most threatening opposing player. Kobe’s doing pretty well in this regard. The alley oop he caught today off the DWade save-the-ball-from-going-out-of-bounds pass had me yelling. On the inside.
• Carmelo Anthony Melo hasn’t been the offensive dynamo he had been the past two summers so far, but he’s still a viable threat that cannot be ignored by the defense. Plus, Melo’s commitment to dominating the glass on both ends is an overlooked aspect of basketball that any young American players should take note of.
• Jason Kidd Jason is clearly the 3rd best PG on this team by now, but his experience and leadership are valuable to any team. The alley oop off the backboard he threw today, presumably to LBJ, ended in a hilarious airball that had Coach K biting his lip.
• Dwight Howard May be too powerfulfor his own good in this setting, with opposing big men flopping and getting calls from the refs when DHo decides to get gangsta under the basket. I wonder how the hell anyone guards him in pickup games with no referees to appeal to.
• Dwyane Wade I’ve already deemed DWade the 2008-09 NBA MVP, with so many people writing him off because of his injury problems. DWade still isn’t much for fundamental defense- unless it’s going for a steal or block- and he doesn’t box out or close out on shooters very well. But offensively, Wade has been downright dominant, scoring from all over the floor in a very efficient manner. In 3 games so far, DWade is 22-31 (71%) from the floor.
• Chris Paul Paul is a magician with the ball, and always finds his guys open in a position to score. his quick hands are very useful ont he defensive end as well. Along with Deron Williams, CP is the reason no team can put any real pressure on the ball for the duration of this tournament.
• Chris Bosh Wes and I took turns completely trashing Bosh when USA played Canada in an exhibition game before leaving for Asia. Bosh was fumbling passes, getting scored on at will, and looking lost and out of place on the floor with the other USA stars. But Chris Bosh made me eat my words today, as clearly the best big man on either team in today’s game. Rebounding on both ends, and finishing all his opportunities. I’m excited to see Bosh go up against Pau Gasol and Spain on Saturday morning.
• Deron Williams I’m slowly becoming more of a fan of this man the more I watch him play. I still remember watching the NBA Playoffs in 07 in Philly with Tone and Wes in my crib in Philly, and this happened. We yelled and screamed for about two minutes. He and Chris Paul will have Team USA in good hands for the next 8 years.
• Michael Redd, Tayshaun Prince & Carlos Boozer None of these guys have played much to this point, and, barring injury to any of the men above, God forbid,they probably won’t play much as the games become more and more pivotal.
• Sofoklis Schortsanitis (Greece) aka “Baby Shaq” (pictured below)

If you don’t follow international competition closely, Baby Shaq caused a great many problems for Team USA in the ’06 WCs in Greece’s upset of the Americans. Over the past two years, Baby Oliver Miller has ballooned to as much as 350 pounds, and is no longer a serious candidate to come over to the NBA (his rights are owned by the LA Clippers, who drafted Schortsanitis a few years ago. Go Figure). He played sparingly in the game today, as he is incredibly out of shape and looking more like Rick Ross than Shaquille O’Neal nowadays.

What I Want You To Know, Pt 8: 3/2/2008

- As I approach the door to the restaurant for Sunday’s lunch, “Dre!” Two kids, no more than 8 years old. I give them high fives. Good thing I write this blog- those kids would’ve never recognized me otherwise!

- one teammate has a text-message tone that is the sound of water being poured into a large bowl.

- I purchased a box of Gold Flakes cereal Monday morning (Frosted Flakes were sold out) along with some milk, with the intentions of having the combination as breakfast for a few days. I had consumed the entire box of cereal (sans milk) by Monday night.

- on my way to the (lifting weights) gym Tuesday mid-morning, I walked past an old lady that was the spitting image of Mrs. Doubtfire.

- Lil’ Mama’s “Lip Gloss” is a very popular music video here.

- Tuesday night: I’m in the internet cafe, and there is a dude absolutely killing the keyboard with how hard he is hitting the keys. Mind you, I have headphones on and I can hear every time he hits the “enter” button.

- the team dinner lives!!! Thursday night, it is scheduled to take place.

- looking at a calendar here, it seems that the week runs from Monday to Sunday, as opposed to the American Sunday-Saturday.

- it’s Thursday, 7:34PM, and I’m abstaining from eating in anticipation of the Big Team Feast in 2 hours. This better be good. Updates to follow.

~ Begin Dinner Notes ~

- first impression: very nice! Candles, a large table with all the trimmings/ silverware. Large plates of fruits & vegetables, bowls of soft bread (Yes!).

- a group of well-dressed men gather behind our table and begin to perform “country music. ” The lead singer sings like there are razors in his diaphragm.

- these small powdered sugar- covered balls may cost me my appetite before the meal is served.

- we have an entire section of the place roped off, and a Last Supper- sized table. Even still, there are about 30 people here and we need some creative spacing to seat everyone.

- with idle time between the appetizer and main course, many idle hands resort to the trusty, time-tested space filler: cell phones. I glance around and see at least 8 players typing away.

- two tables have been seated close to ours. Guess we don’t have the section roped off. I overestimated the club’s clout in this town.

- dinner buffet plates are placed within everyone’s reach. As Wes said in response to a photo similar to what I’m witnessing, “Hold the heart attack!” Hamburgers, sausage, fries, some other grease-dripping stuff.

- the table has been cleared- save for our drinks and the nice candles- but I can’t tell if the meal is finished or not. The way everyone is sitting tight, I’m guessing there’s more to come.

- just got served a healthy slice of cheese cake.

- this aint cheese cake! Sorta like Jell-O, but more consistent, and looks like cheese cake? (Phu says it’s flan, possibly. Flan is not for me.)

- remember in the movie “Friday” when Smokey was in the car with Hector and got trucked into smoking angel dust? Ok, good. Remember the Mexican in the passenger seat with the high-pitched laughter? The same guy with the Bad Haircut (see previous posts) laughs just like that dude.

- dinner ends abruptly and very anticlimactically, as everyone jumps up as I was writing the above note.

- arriving home, I feel the need to wash my left forearm, after being seated next to a teammate who sprayed his saliva with every 3rd syllable.

- overall this event was a lot less hype than I expected; the fact that the team suffered three losses between the big victory that gave cause for the dinner and the dinner actually taking place probably had a little something to do with it.

~ End Dinner Notes ~

- despite the music playing capabilities, almost every cell phone in Montenegro has video-playback capabilities, an ability my cell phones have never possessed.

- this concludes my Montenegro updates; for those of you who didn’t already know, check my previous post (http://drepaperwork.blogspot.com/2008/02/we-outta-here-baby.html).

My time in Herceg Novi will be filed away as another experience that I would not trade for anything- the good and the bad of it. Since I know you’ve seen all the photos and you’ve been reading the blog posts, you all know I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time in Montenegro, more specifically beautiful HN.

A big CIAO!! To all my new personal and virtual friends in the former Yugoslavian nations.

As for me, my pointed social commentary shall continue, so bookmark this site / blog. As for bball, let’s just say I have a very ambitious plan to get started on. I can’t have ‘SuperStar’ tattooed on me and not live up to it, right?
And accept no cheap imitations- There’s Only One Dre Baldwin (see http://www.Drepaperwork.blogspot.com for the significance of that title).

We Outta Here, Baby

What I Want You To Know, Pt 7: 2/24/2008

- the team feast that was supposed to happen as a result of a big win two weeks ago has yet to happen, and many players are losing hope.

- ‘zdravo’ is also a greeting / goodbye. Why am I just now learning this?

- for some as-yet-unknown reason, there is only 1 person in the town with keys to access our sport hall. We had training on a day in which it was quite windy and cold, and Mr. Keys kept the whole team & coaching staff waiting 25 minutes outside for him to show up. As he unlocked the main doors to let everyone in, I attempted to start a chorus of boos but it didn’t catch on.

- we played a game on Sunday, February 17. As we pulled into the parking lot, there is a man standing on the corner dressed as Santa Claus.

- as we are warming up for our match on Sunday, the pre-game clock is at 9 minutes till tip-off. The the lights in the entire building go out, and remain out for 30 minutes. When the electricity returns, both teams are given 3 minutes to get re-warmed up, and the game begins. As some locals fondly say, “I LOVE this country!!”

- I stayed up until 2:30 AM Monday morning to confirm that Montenegro / Croatian TV did NOT carry the NBA All-Star Game.

- I spoke to a friend here who works on ships- he shared with me his experience traveling to the USA: “you have a shop there uhh… Called Wal-Mart? Yes, Wal-Mart. I go there and ask the girl who work there for a cable for eee-Pod. She look at me crazy, doesn’t know what I talk about! She say, ‘What is eee-Pod??’ Then she understand, ‘ooh, iPod!! Ipod!”

He also told me about his work on the ships. When traveling in the Pacific, the temperatures reach well over 50 degrees C (that’s 122F).

The best part was the time he was in Newark airport for a return flight to Europe, and the ticket agent “Was from uh, Texas. This guy talk, Dre, and I can understand nothing!”

- in Herceg Novi (the town I’m in), there is one major road that crosses through the whole town. It is 2 lanes- 1 lane in each direction. So of course, there are times when a driver wants to pass a person in front of them, a la that stretch of 2-lane road between Altoona & State College, PA. Problem is, the 2-lane road in Herceg Novi is not a straightaway- it is curvy, which means passing is a life-or-death decision at high speeds. While riding home with teammates Monday night, a driver going in the opposite direction of us attempted one such pass and dam near caused a head on collision that would have altered lives. Thank God for days without rain, sticky tires, and good brakes.

- how do you say “pass the ketchup”? I’m gonna surprise my teammates with that one.

- in our heat-deprived sport hall, our coach announced that pre-practice stretch time would be reduced from 15 minutes to 5 minutes.

-When You’re The Only One Who Doesn’t Speak The Language Note-Of-The-Week: on Wednesdays we usually practice once in the morning and once at 6PM. I’ve grown accustomed to taking midday naps and getting up at 5 to dress and leave for training at 5:30. This Wednesday, my neighbors- who are teammates I ride to & from the gym with- rang my bell at 5:01 to leave. Figuring they just wanted to shoot around early, I dress quickly and we leave. As we are walking to the car, I ask my teammate about the early departure: “We have a game tonight at 6,” he says. ” Nobody told you???”

- after training Wednesday night, I rode home with a teammate who, while he drove, danced wildly to what I can best describe as a Serbian version of Busta Rhymes.

- Friday afternoon: one of our point guards is wearing a pair of sweatpants so tight, you can’t help but to look at his ass (no homo!).

- maybe one of you local residents can explain this: I have a clothesline outside a window of my flat, which, of course, is used to dry washed clothing. But for some reason, any time I leave things hanging out overnight, there is ALWAYS one thing that is dripping wet, like someone dumped water on just this one sock or one pair of boxers. There is an awning right above my window, so rain can’t be the reason, nor can the person above me affect said clothing. Why is this happening?

Have Your Cake…

I was asked by someone who has been reading my Funniest Moments from College blogs, what is my Funniest Moment since college? Well, I mentioned one a couple weeks ago here (http://drepaperwork.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-i-want-you-to-know-pt-4-232008.html), and I’ll tell the other one now. Disclaimer: this story is 4x funnier if you ever meet me and have me tell it verbally, because… Well, just read it :
May 2006, the beautiful Mexican city of Tepic. At this time, I’m traveling with about 9 other American players on a basketball barnstorming tour. We drive in 2 vehicles- a white Chevy Suburban and a Jeep- from town to town all over the country (some trips as long as 13 hours), playing games vs. teams of Mexican pros. Coaches, scouts, and managers from different teams all over the country attended these games to scout for the American players they’d sign for their clubs. These games were of particularly low quality; partially due to some of the shitty venues games were played in, but mostly due to the selfishness and lack of cohesion within our team. But all of that is a story for another time, or maybe no time at all. Let’s get to the funny part.

In this city of Tepic, there is a nightclub whose name escapes my memory. We’ll call it “Blue.” one Friday night, about 6 of us descend on Blue, drawing the attention of 80% of club patrons upon walking in. With 3 of us able to speak Espanol (me included), we fan out and test the waters.

1 player, let’s call him DJ, can speak very good Spanish. Within 5 minutes of entering the club, DJ meets a girl and makes some unspoken, assumed arrangements to, uhh, get to know her better later that night at the team hotel. With this in his back pocket, DJ decides to peruse the rest of the club and come back to get said female later. Being a generous Southern guy, DJ introduces said girl to 2 teammates of mine that do not speak any Spanish to keep her company while DJ plays the field. Knowing that they speak zero Espanol, DJ does not see these 2 teammates as a threat to his plans.

Well, I guess DJ didn’t consider 2 things: 1) Basketball groupies (this girl was definitely one of those) don’t care WHICH player they get, just that they get one; 2) the language of lust is universally spoken.

Cut to scene: team hotel, 3AM. The two non-Spanish speaking players sex the said groupie and her friend (they travel in packs). DJ is not concerned at this fact, that is, as long as DJ can get in on the action as well. Problem is, one of the guys has shown this groupie so much personal affection, she refuses to be touched by anyone else. That realization leads to this in the hotel hallway at 4 AM:

(Mind you, this hotel is designed with the rooms situated in a square with the middle being hollow. Meaning if you throw something over the railing from the 5th floor, it lands in the hotel lobby. And any loud hallway noise can be heard by everyone in every room. )

DJ gathers everyone outside of the room which doubled as the scene of the crime. DJ then delivers a short sililoquy that goes down in history:

“Ay man, look! We all out here, man, we Americans! We ‘sposed (“supposed”) to be pimpin’ deez hoes… (DJ now flails his arms in disgust) Y’ALL N*GGAS CAKIN’ THESE HOES!!!!!! ”

(Note: “Cakin” is a Southern term used to describe a male showing an unhealthy amount of affection to a female. This act was frowned upon by DJ, as you can see. )

DJ had more to say, but my hysterical laughter hindered my hearing for a brief moment. The late-night front desk person also visited our floor for the 3rd time, finally succeeding in dispersing the crowd.

As I think about, write, and re-enact this scene, I still laugh heartily at the scene and DJ’s famous words.

And the groupies got treated to breakfast the following morning.

What I Want You To Know, Pt 6: 2/17/2008

- starting off strong with vocabulary: “opa” means “wow!”

- our ex-assistant coach (the one accused of being drunk during training) was in attendance at our games this weekend. He sat in the stands. And the ‘drunk’ accusation is 98% confirmed true at this point, according to my sources. The scary part is no one in the organization seemed outraged at this drunkenness, and everyone knew about it.

- we went 1-1 in the two- day tournament we hosted; apparently a huge accomplishment here. The entire organization went out for drinks Sunday night, and a big team dinner is planned during the week.

- at the cafe we went to Sunday night (Bristol in Igalo), the whole team is urging me to have a beer (I haven’t touched a drink since getting here). The waiter sees this and plays along; I ask for a Fanta, Sprite, Coke? Negative. If they serve anything non-alcoholic: “No.” After 3 sips of a Tuborg beer, I turn around and see a case full of soda, and the side wall completely covered with the Coca-Cola logo.

- you know how, when people are drunk they encourage everyone around them to drink too? Sunday night, I had a glass best described as “triple-shot-full” of a clear liquid that smelled like vanilla extract. One of my drunk teammates actually discouraged me from drinking it. Not that I was anyway, but how strong must that shit be for a drunk person to tell me NOT to drink?

- “jebiga” = sucks

- I just found out that the guy I clowned for his hideous coat and disgusting haircut is the son of the coach. I will now pause so you can laugh at that. (hopefully I don’t get fined for making this public knowledge… Hell, I think I’m the only person who DIDN’T know this)

- how do you say “bullshit” in Serbian? I also need “crazy” and “shut up.” Thanks.

- the news in this area has done a great job of playing up the Hillary-Obama race in the USA. But, as I can assume by the statements & questions I’ve heard from folks here, the ex-Yugo media has failed to inform everyone that there will also be a Republican candidate for President, too. So Hillary or Obama will have to win another race, besides the one vs. each other, to become the next U.S. President.

- rare bball note: I mentioned this indirectly before, and I will discuss it again: the sport hall we play/practice in does not employ heat.

One day during practice a few weeks ago, the coach had implied that I was moving too slowly during a defensive drill, and I had retorted that it was “cold as a muthafucka” in there (I mentioned this in part 2 or 3), prompting raucous laughter from the team.

The town I’m in (called Herceg Novi) is right on the sea so it does not snow or get below-freezing cold. In the morning it usually gets down around 40F. Now consider playing basketball outside when it’s maybe 5-10 degrees warmer than that. Not so pleasant. This only becomes a problem when we have early trainings at 8:30AM, which is usually twice a week. To top it all off, our coach has this long Nike cost he wears every day, and even while running practice, he keeps his coat on. I have asked him more than once to go through our 90-minute practice without his coat to see how it feels. He has repeatedly declined.

Now, this next part is 100% true story: that same afternoon a few weeks ago, I prayed to God that He show me a way to deal with the freezing cold gym. We had another training that same day at 6PM. I walk out onto the floor… And there is heat blowing onto the court, I lie to you not. I was the first player on the floor, and as my teammates entered the gym, they were all looking around wide-eyed like Jamaicans seeing snow for the first time.

That was 3 weeks ago. There has not been even a hint of heat in the building since, even for games. But like I said, it’s only a problem in the mornings.

- Thursday morning I went to then weight room, and there was what appeard to be a soccer team there before us. Now, a soccer team is bigger than a bball team- there were at least 25 players from their team in there at once. Remember I told you this weight place is small, when it’s just my team inside we often get in each other’s way. While the soccer guys were in there, you’d hear a whistle blow every minute or two, and the players would move to another piece of equipment. I could never be a part of a system like that- I’d feel like a damn robot.

- after a late training Thursday night, our pre-packaged dinner from the restaurant has been stepped up to a hot chicken sandwich. (rating: 6.5 / 10)

- I saw a girl walking with an iPod Friday afternoon. It was the first time I’ve seen or heard anything iPod related since arriving here.

- while eating lunch Friday, the restaurant was empty, save for myself. A couple of cooks came and sat down at an unoccupied table. One of the cooks (two women) let out a sneeze so loud and hard, the table she was sitting at lifted completely off of the floor and SLAMMED back down.

- I took a taxi across town Tuesday around 11AM, and the driver started the meter at 2€. Maybe the rates are different for different places or times, but I have had complete taxi trips that cost me 2€, with tip included. Someone fill me in on whether or not the man ripped me off.

- a player on my team has a vehicle whose driver’s side door doesn’t work. If you’ve known me long enough, you would recall that I had a car with a similar problem- but mine had a non- working passenger side door. Call me crazy, but I’d rather have a broken passenger side than the driver’s side door. And one day, when we’re all rich, we can all have cars where all the doors work.

- in the internet cafe Saturday, there was a kid playing a soccer game onthe computer next to me with headphones on. He kept yelling, “Beckham, David Beckham!”