3 Things I Believe That You Probably Don’t

In Confidence
Scroll Down

There Is No Such Thing As Having “Too Much” Confidence.

Overconfidence is dangerous, they say. A certain amount of caution is necessary at all times.

Ok, let’s see.

Think of the last time you were too confident, believed in yourself too much, went too far because your belief was flying a little bit too close to the sun — and that overconfidence got you in trouble.

Most people can’t think of even one such occasion.

Now, think of a time when you didn’t go far enough.

You hesitated, didn’t say what was on your mind, stayed on the sidelines when you had a chance to jump into the game. Undervalued or undersold yourself. Asked for too little. Accepted less than what you wanted without a protest. A missed opportunity that you’re still mad at yourself over, because you’re left to wonder what if for the rest of your life.

Do you have any of those?

While I do believe that too much of anything can eventually become an issue, humans are imperfect. Though many preach it, we don’t spend much time in the “perfect balance” zone of things; we’re always recalibrating. Out of fear, most people’s calibrations err on the side of caution, hesitation, and less-than-enough.

Moderation in everything is boring anyway. Quick — name three people who became great through practicing moderation in their particular area of greatness?

Would you rather go too far or not far enough? Which one has the most potential? Which one will be the more interesting story? The success stories you read about — which path did those people take?

Hard Work Is NOT The Key To Success.

Hard work matters. I really believe this — I wrote a book called Work On Your Game, after all.

Every celebrity or award-winner who’s asked about — or simply chooses to talk about — their success defaults to how hard they worked to get there.

The long hours in the gym to make it to the pros.

The extra studio sessions in creating the Grammy-winning album.

How I wasn’t the most talented, but I outworked everyone else — and THAT’S the only reason why I won.

Bullshit.

Do successful people work hard? Of course they do.

But, failures work hard, too.

People who achieve amazing results work very hard; they even write books to make sure everyone knows about their efforts.

People who stagnate and never advance past mediocrity work just as hard, too.

It takes more than hard work to “make it.” Here’s a quick preliminary list of the extras —

  • Talent. A head start on everyone else who’s working just as hard as you.
  • Timing. Certain opportunities and technologies are available to us today that just weren’t around for our ancestors — some of whom were infinitely smarter than we are.
  • Help. Knowing the right people in the right places, all other things being equal, can be the difference between rich and poor, fame and anonymity.
  • Luck. Being in the right place at the right time can change lives — as can being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

All these play just as much of, if not more of, a role in your success that hard work and effort plays.

Your favorite hard-work preacher will never tell you this though — because giving credit to any of the above subtracts from the hero story that most successful people like to tell about themselves.

pasted image 0 10

Every Problem You Have With Another Person Is Your Fault.

Yes, it’s true.

Even if that person is a complete jerk/total bitch.

Even if you were born into their family and are seemingly stuck with them for life.

Even if you’ve always done right by them while they continue to do wrong by you.

Because, either —

  1. You remain in this person’s orbit — spiritually or emotionally if not physically — thus allowing their influence to affect you, and/or
  2. You have allowed such a dynamic to exist and persist between you and them that they continue to believe it’s OK to behave as they have been. And,
  3. You’re allowing this person to affect you (hence the problem). Plus,
  4. It’s you who has the problem, so it’s you who’s responsible for handling it in whatever way necessary.

You may not have caused it, and you may not be the one exacerbating things, but you’re in it. And once you’re in it, you’re responsible for it.

So, what are you gonna do?

Submit a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *