I don’t play ball anymore, but I like going to a court by myself every now and then and taking some shots. No running or jumping, no moves, it’s not even a workout. Just me, the ball and the court.
Alone time is at a premium these days. In The 50th Law, Robert Greene traced man’s problems to his inability to sit alone in a room by himself. Silence makes people uncomfortable. Boredom is… boring.
The next time you’re out in public, look for a person who’s by him or herself — what is he doing?
You don’t even have to experiment to answer: on his phone — while walking (people walk the street not even looking at who’s walking past them), driving (stand on a street and look at each passing driver — 80% are talking or typing on their phones), and standing idle. And it’s not because there are so many pressing matters happening that we need to be on a device at all times. We’ve grown very uncomfortable with having only ourselves as a companion. The phone and all the people on it keep us company.
We feel awkward in our own company.
You can see it on social media every day: Most people mimic and go along with whatever the popular thing of the moment is, even if they don’t know anything about it and even if they don’t completely agree with it. It’s no coincidence that we measure social media success by counting followers.
It’s cool to be a follower in 2018, and you can quickly get more of them by following what’s popular— diss the President, use the trendy hashtag, say something negative about the person the public has decided to attack this week (recently: rapper Fabolous, then Tony Robbins, now it’s Tristan Thompson), and BOOM! New followers appear.
If you follow, listen to or subscribe to me, understand: My purpose is not to have some number of followers, but to create new Leaders.
You can’t lead if all you do is follow what everyone else is doing (these days, for example, everyone is starting a podcast— 93% of these podcasts will have nothing useful to add to a conversation). You can’t lead if you don’t have a unique, against-the-grain opinion. You can’t lead if you’re uncomfortable being by yourself.
For Your Game
- You make time to spend with people you love, those you care about, or anyone you deem to be important. Do you check all those boxes for yourself? Then make time for yourself. Phone on Airplane Mode, no distractions, just you. Try it. It’s weird to even think about, isn’t it?
- Being yourself is your stand-out strategy. Problem for many people is they’ve forgotten who they are, all this following we’re doing nowadays. That’s why this alone time is so important. Reintroduce you to you. I have a live upcoming class in Miami that can help you.
- Ah, but where would you find the time? Steal it from time you give other people: social media, television, concerts, hanging out, etc… the time is there, if you’re willing to claim it for yourself.
When’s the last time you made time for just yourself, with no distractions? Why not more often? Reply and talk to me.