Being arrogant is not a disorder of out-of-control confidence. On the contrary, arrogance is a skill you earn.
Boxer Floyd Mayweather was in his dressing room before a championship match. Floyd got word that his friend, wrestler HHH (Or “Triple H”) was in the building and sent for HHH to visit the dressing room.
HHH came in, hung out for a few minutes, then excused himself to allow Floyd to prepare for the fight. Floyd insisted HHH stay and watch TV with him.
HHH hung out for a while longer, until there were less than 15 minutes to go before the fight. HHH got up to leave, once again telling Floyd he would leave to allow Floyd get ready to perform.
Floyd turned to HHH and said, dude, stay. If I’m not ready to win this fight already, nothing I do in the next 15 minutes will get me ready. I’m either going to win, or not – it’s already decided.
Many sports fans would label Floyd Mayweather the poster child for arrogance. What they don’t recognize: Floyd earned his right to be arrogant. You need to do the same, and ditch the humble idea which isn’t working.
I’ll tell you exactly how.
This post is not a metaphor. I’m not using cocky or arrogant in a tongue-in-cheek way, either. I mean it completely literally.
People have a false idea that being arrogant (defined as an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities) is a bad thing. It’s not. [shareable cite=”@DreAllDay “]People have a false idea that being arrogant is a bad thing. It’s not. [/shareable]
- “Humble” means, having a moderate or low sense of one’s own importance. Meaning, your self-belief is at a lower level than your accomplishments. Which means, your reality will adjust itself to meet your moderate self-belief level.
Is this what you want?
Think about it: When people tell you to “be humble,” what are they really saying? They’re telling you to not think so highly of yourself. Lower your ambitions. Don’t believe in yourself so much. What is the benefit of following this advice – other than making people with low self-esteem feel better about themselves?Follow this advice, and your achievements, no matter how great or small, will diminish. Congratulations on your show of humility.
- Your achievements in life will ALWAYS match your level of belief in yourself. You may think your success in life is directly related to your ability.
Wrong. Your success is related to your belief. When you think something, you talk about it. When you believe something, you act on it.
Let’s say your achievement is at a level 50. If you follow what most people tell you, your level of belief should also be a 50. Believe in yourself, but don’t think any higher than what you’ve actually done. Otherwise you’re being “cocky.”You think you’re better than you actually are!! Look at all this evidence – you’re clearly 50! Why is your belief at a 75?!?! Be realistic!!
This bad advice is the reason so many people go through an entire lifetime and never see their lives improve. Their belief being a 50, the individual can NEVER exceed that level in achievements, despite their efforts.
THIS is the glass ceiling of achievement you’ve been hitting your head against for years. So, understand…
- Your self-belief must ALWAYS exceed your current abilities & accomplishments. Why? Following what I said above – you will achieve at the level you believe – this mindset will keep you striving for more and better.
The subconscious mind constantly works to close gaps between our mental state and our realities. The sad truth is, many people think less of themselves than what reality suggests. Thus, many people spend life not staying the same, but going backwards. [shareable cite=”@DreAllDay “]The sad truth is, many people think *less* of themselves than what reality suggests.[/shareable]
If my achievement is at a 50, and my belief is at a 75, I have to close this gap. Which brings us to my next point.
- Be humble enough to know you have work to do. Then do it. Here’s how to actually use humility, in a way which will make you better, not worse. [shareable cite=”@DreAllDay “]
Be humble enough to know you have work to do. Do it.[/shareable]First, set your belief to a level which is higher than your achievements. At this moment, technically, you’re being “arrogant” – you think you’re better than you really are.
Seeing this gap, your subconscious mind goes to work, with two choices for reconciling this conflict.A) Lower your belief.
B) Achieve more to match the belief.
Now, if you’ve been properly brainwashed by the humble-mongers, you may (wrongly) choose option A.
If you listen to what I’m telling you here (or understand how little “humility,” in this sense, will do to raise your game), you will choose option B. Do you know what happens then?
You do the work to go from 50 to 75, earning your right to have a 75-level belief.
Then what? You raise that 75 to a 100 and so on, and repeat the process. Forever.
THIS is how to be humble: Raise your belief first, then step up your skill to match this belief.
Then, continue to raise the bar. Not the think-less-of-yourself BS you’ve been fed your whole life. Perish those useless, self-defeating principles, taught to you by people who didn’t know any better.
- Don’t forget to do the work. Arrogance is earned, not taken and not given. The moment you stop doing the work, you are no longer qualified to be arrogant.
Please re-read the previous sentence.
As far as I can tell, very few people have a problem of being too confident. Most of the people who come to me with confidence issues have the problem of being too humble. I happily and diligently cure people of this illness. My book The Super You is a primer to start with, and Bulletproof Mindset is the full course.
I’m talking to those of you who don’t believe enough in your own skills to put yourself out there. Those who charge too little for your services. You, who feels unqualified to label yourself an expert when less qualified people are already doing it, and taking YOUR money.
Bad information about humility got you to this place. Now, let’s do it the right way.
Give arrogance a try.