Freedom Ain’t Free

In Relationships
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I put a video on YouTube about walking away in life.

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A viewer named James left the following comment.

Wow Dre this was right on time for me and it’s funny I was just thinking this yesterday. I’m in a marriage with my wife and I am miserable, she’s older than me and provides a stable roof over my head while my business picks up. But here’s the problem, she’s old and tired and not as young and energetic as me and has narcissist traits about her. So with that being said it  puts me in a situation, where should I leave without my making any money in my business yet? Or wait? In the meantime I am not happy sexually, emotionally, or mentally with her.

I am just afraid that I won’t be able to pay rent if I decide to walk away and become homeless, that’s my fear!! This is a tough decision and see what I need to do, but money is the case, thanks for this upload

You can see my quick reply to James in the comments; I’m going into more detail here.

  1. Career and money is not all of life. I wrote about how, in America (assuming James is American), we live to work. We judge people largely by what they do, their status in what they do, and what (we think) they have. James’ money-centric comment tells me that he thinks how most Americans (you too, reader, if you’re American) think. Unhappy, sexually deprived, and emotionally drained — but hey, she provides the money! So I should just endure it, right? WRONG.
  2. Everything matters. Money, time and energy (emotional, sexual, general happiness) ALL MATTER EQUALLY. Doing great at any one of these at the expense of being bankrupt at the other two (or even 2 out of 3) is not worth it. Deficiencies in happiness will eventually cost you your financial abundance. Emotional weakness will cost you sexual satisfaction. A persistent lack of money will make you unhappy. No amount of any of these will make up for a glaring lack in another. Try it and see for yourself if you wish, or look at James — his wife provides the money, where he’s seemingly taken care of, but he’s still losing in every other area, so much so that he left this comment on YouTube telling strangers about it. There are thousands more out there in the exact same situation as James who don’t talk publicly about it. The universe demands balance. Try tipping the scale in any one direction and you are bound to face defeat.
  3. Happiness has a price. Such as, making the time for doing the things that make you happy, even if those things don’t make you money. Or, honoring the routines that work for maintaining your sanity — even when honoring those routines means disappointing someone else. The price could even be dumping a relationship that’s not working for you, even if/when the guy/girl you’re with thinks everything is perfect. YOU ARE YOUR #1 PRIORITY.
  4. Happiness is an asset. An asset is anything that grows in value and/or puts money in your pocket. Don’t you tend to do better in business and close more deals and get lucky more often when you’re happy? Do you think that’s a coincidence? A large percentage of communication is nonverbal; we decide about things and people before they say anything to us. We can feel when things are right and we can feel when they’re wrong (though we sometimes foolishly go against our instincts and cost ourselves). Good energy attracts more good energy. A stressed out, emotionally drained, sexually deprived person repels happy period away from them without the person speaking a word. James’ fledgling business would do better and grow faster with a happy, emotionally pleasant and positive-energy James than it ever will via the present-day James. The thing is, James will never realize this until he becomes those things, which it seems he cannot do in that marriage.
  5. Freedom ain’t free. It’s funny that I posted this to Twitter this morning before I’d even seen James’ comment. You have to be willing to give something up — whether it be time, energy, money, wherever — to get something. James’ wife probably knows him 1000x better than I do, and if I can see how much James values the money just from his YouTube comment, I know that she knows how much he values it. She probably thinks James ain’t goin’ nowhere. Like James has made clear, the money is the most important element of his situation right now — In fact, it’s the only positive thing he said about his marriage! If I were coaching James, I’d write down one question and have him ask it of himself every day (probably multiple times per day): How much is your freedom worth?
  6. You have to jump off the cliff to grow wings. I once left a relationship too late. She didn’t know I was thinking about leaving. I told her on Tuesday, and moved out on Wednesday. Since we both made money, I had less money being alone than we had together as a couple. I left a 2-bedroom condo with a great view, to move into a studio apartment with no view. My first day in that studio, I wondered if I had made a mistake. It was a severe lifestyle downgrade. It turned out to be the best decision, albeit a late decision, that I could’ve made. Over the next three years, I built my brand and business, met a new mate, and moved into a place with an even better view — none of which I could have predicted or known until I made a bold move.

We all pay a price for freedom, but freedom not a sunk cost — there’s a return on investment coming your way.


Ps – that business building and personal positive energy I talked about are just two of the four areas of focus of the Game Group Membership. Take a look at what’s happening there and I’ll see you inside.