How To Build Quality Relationships So You Can Stop Alienating People And Making Them Hate You…

In Relationships
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I hired a guy (I think he’s a guy) on Fiverr to do some design work for me. 

I’ve hired him before, and his work is pretty good. The only problem is, the mofo is too damn slow. 

The project I ordered was quoted to take 3 days. He did indeed deliver in 3 days, but I requested simple revisions to what he sent me. 

It’s been a week since those revisions and I am still waiting on final delivery. 

I’m writing this after I just had a message exchange with this gig worker. I told him that he should throw in some extras from his gig in exchange for the delay in delivery. 

He replied that he charges for extras. 

Fair enough, I said — but the amount of time I’m waiting for this delivery should be compensated for in some way. The extras are your way of placating me and rewarding my patience. 

He replied, “I’m sorry that it’s taking so long. I have a lot of clients and works, so I’ll do my best to send the files as soon as I can.”

I like this guy’s work. And being that I’ll have more of this same work to be done in the future, I’d like to hire him again. Alas, I won’t hire him again. His slowness — and his foolish explanation for being slow (I’ll tell you why it was foolish in a moment) — cost him a long-term client. 

***

I had a different-but-similar experience at a car dealership once. 

I shook hands with the salesperson. When we got into the elevator to go see a particular vehicle — this was less than 90 seconds after we’d just met — he asked me my name again. 

“I just told you my name one minute ago.”

He defended himself. 

“Well, I meet a lot of people every day working here — I sometimes forget names.” 

1) He said this — “I meet a lot of people every day” — in such a way as to communicate that he was proud of it, and that I should, perhaps, be impressed.

2) A person’s name is the most valuable thing they own. Forgetting it — especially if they just told you — is a clear sign of a lack of interest (even if by accident). 

A lack of interest can be a useful tool, but not when you’re trying to make a sale. I didn’t get a car from that dealership. 

***

When you have people paying you, whether it’s $5 for a quick gig or $200K for a vehicle, remember something: each buyer is ONE person. 

Yeah, you may have a thousand clients. But to each one of those clients, their personal transaction is the ONLY ONE they’re concerned with (and the only one they want to hear about). 

Yeah, you may have a thousand clients. But to each one of those clients, their personal transaction is the ONLY ONE they’re concerned with (and the only one they want to hear about).  Click To Tweet

And while you may be more focused on the “big picture” of your overall business than any one individual, you’d be a fool to act like it — and an even bigger fool to say it out loud. 

This applies outside of business, too. 

Your girlfriend or wife knows you’ve dated other girls before her — that doesn’t mean she wants to hear you talk about them. 

Your girlfriend or wife knows you’ve dated other girls before her — that doesn’t mean she wants to hear you talk about them. Click To Tweet

If you want to become more persuasive and get better and get things done with / through others, keep something in mind: people are selfish. 

We care about others, yes, but we care about ourselves a lot more. 

We care about others, yes, but we care about ourselves a lot more.  Click To Tweet

Even if you don’t care about someone, pretend that you do. Put yourself in their shoes and talk about their personal situation, and only theirs, unless you’re trying to piss them off on purpose. 

When a customer emails and tells you they haven’t received a shipment, don’t tell them that you have a thousand people waiting on shipments (even though it’s true) — tell them you’re sorry and that it sucks that they don’t have THEIR package. 

Because that’s the only one they care about anyway. 

People like personal attention. They like to feel like they matter. Actually they don’t like these things — they REQUIRE them. 

Violate at your own risk. 

People like personal attention. They like to feel like they matter. Actually they don’t like these things — they REQUIRE them. Violate at your own risk.  Click To Tweet

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#1407: Subjective Opinions Matter More Than Facts Now

#1406: How To Care Without Caring

#435: Why You Should Care About Rankings, Top-Lists & Subjective Opinions

#434: Determining Your “Retail Value” in Life & Business

#1194: 4 Steps To Learning From Other People

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