“… I don’t want to mess it up…” [Daily Game]

In Blog, Confidence, Daily Game, People Skills, Sales
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Cold-approach is a key aspect of my business and life. It’s how I make new business connections, meet new people, make friends, get into rooms that don’t let just anyone in. I’ve given entire podcast episodes to the topic of going and getting it — “it” being whatever you want it to be, which will probably involve people.

Naturally, I get questions about cold-approach strategy. People ask me how they should do it.

What do I say? How do I word the email? What questions should I ask? What kind of energy should I have? How should I think?

I just want to make sure I don’t sound dumb… I don’t want them to think I don’t know what I’m doing… I don’t want to mess it up…

These are good questions and somewhat-good reasonings. Better to know than not know. And, I suppose, not wanting to mess up means it matters to you on some level, so that’s worth something. Maybe.

Here’s the key: For the people who have fully brought into you, the answer is YES.

Yes to what? Whatever you’re doing or offering or saying.

The people who like what you write will read your next post, even if they hated the last one. They’ll watch your next video even when the last one was wack. They expect you to win even when you badly lost the last game.

For those who are not into you, the answer is NO, no matter what you do.

I’m know I’m a damn good public speaker; companies still turn down the chance to book me in favor of someone else. Doesn’t mean they couldn’t make a different decision the next time, but the point is, it doesn’t matter how good I am or how much proof I produce to validate my claims. If they’re out, they’re OUT. Period.

I’ve done network marketing before (the  opportunities/”pyramid schemes” that many people avoid like the plague). The best thing I gained from network marketing was how much I learned about people in selling the products and recruiting people to join my teams. You learn a lot about people’s insecurities and weaknesses, their biases, beliefs people have that have no basis in fact, the extent of how many excuses one human being can come up with. You learn how to sell people on ideas and how to cultivate a following. It’s an experience I’m glad I went through (though I wouldn’t advise to most — just work for the Humane Society instead).

In network marketing team-building training events, one thing they drill into you is the SWSWSWN method. Some Will. Some Won’t. So What? Next!

A cousin to that: You cannot say the wrong thing to the right person; you cannot say the right thing to the wrong person.

Side note: my father texted me a couple weeks ago, asking me my opinion on some supplement powder he’s been taking. I hadn’t heard of it and asked him where he obtained the powder.


For Your Game:

  1. Humans, like me and you, unconsciously decide how we feel about people and what they’re doing before they even begin speaking (there are books on the subject; Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink is one). You can’t mess up talking to the person who’s decided YES on you — and you can’t get any more perfect with the person who’s already decided NO. Even if they’re polite enough to allow you to finish talking.
  2. All human beings are insecure on some level; some just get really good at hiding it or distracting your focus from noticing. Remember this every time you go to speak with someone you may be nervous about approaching. And read The Super You to build real confidence.
  3. If you want real power when dealing with people, change the game: Stop thinking you have to sell yourself on them, and conduct yourself as if they have to sell themselves on you. You are evaluating whether they are worth your time. Now you’re mentally in power. Just thinking this way will change the temperature of conversations for you.

Who have you been hesitating to contact or approach? What fears are in your way? Reply and let me know.


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