Deceiving yourself puts a weight on your shoulders. And no matter how strong you are or how much you lack a conscience, that weight slows you down. When something is fucked up and you keep telling yourself it’s OK, or “not that bad”, you’re creating dredge in the engine of your head. And you are not operating at your full potential.
So get clear on what is really happening in your life, get clear on who and where you really are and what it will really take for you to get where you want to go and be who you want to be. If you call Delta Airlines and buy a one-way flight from Dallas to Seattle, when you know you’re actually in Denver, you’ll never make it to Seattle because you weren’t honest about your starting point. If you lie to yourself about where you are, you can never get to where you’re going.
So get clear. Get real. You only have to answer to yourself.