I’ve read at least three personal stories — in books — by people sharing how they made a flip in how they looked at life. All three stories had similarities: some type of life-in-the-balance event happened (physical attack, car accident, stubborn disease) and the author had a chance, in that state of near death (real or imagined – doesn’t really matter, as long as they believed it), to think about their life up to that point.
They all came to a similar conclusion: I haven’t done shit with my life. Despite my resources and (until then) good health, I’ve done nothing at all. Yes I’ve had some successes, but I could and should be doing a whole lot more. If I make it through this, shit is changing. Immediately.
They all made it, made changes, and became huge successes in their fields. After surviving something they felt they may not survive, regular life-living was so small in comparison. And the big change in them all based on their new perspective was this:
Failing at anything other than staying alive was nothing compared to where they’d been. If you pulled yourself from the brink of actually dying, what the hell is a failed business venture? What’s a missed jump shot? What’s a media critic panning your work?
Doing my best to internalize all of these stories I always get to the crux of the issue for my personal adoption of those mind states: I’m not in a life-in-the-balance situation and don’t plan on manufacturing one just to get their feeling. So how can I get it? The answer is trite but simple nonetheless: Make yourself have it.
Think about this the next time you see someone you want to talk to — a pretty girl at the supermarket, a business connect who could catapult your career, a conversation with a family member you’ve been putting off — and you’re hesitating.
What would you do if you knew you could not possibly fail at this? Would you be hesitant? No, you wouldn’t. The only thing blooding you back is the fear of it going bad. And that fear is not physically preventing you from taking action, not at all — fear is created, and only exists, in your mind. It is also destroyed there.
What would you do if you knew you could not possibly fail at this?
Ask yourself that question again before you fall asleep tonight. Wake up with a new perspective on your life — you never know when you’ll be on the edge of losing it.