Stop Letting People Scare You Out Of Your Life

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Stop Letting People Scare You Out Of Your Life | Dre BaldwinSomebody told me I shouldn’t do it. 

My friends think I’m dumb and wasting time.

Nobody else wants to do it with me. 

When I wrote my Overseas Basketball Piece, the first step was the first step for a reason.

Make a fucking decision. 

A decision is made and acted upon, despite what is happening on the outside — rain, being passed over for an opportunity, little to no help from others, negativity from people you depend on for support. But despite how many times it’s been read, and the myriad of other times I’ve said the same thing, people are jumping into action without taking step 1. And failing quitting because of it.

Your life is 100% yours, not theirs. It’s quite possible that no one in your circle of influence will buy into your ideas and support/follow/join/be happy for you. Let’s say that’s the case; what will you do then? You might as well put it all on the table now so there’s no need for this conversation later.

In life, not everyone will wanna go with you where you’re going — especially if where you’re going is up. Yes, going up is what we all say we want. But saying and doing ain’t the same thing. The words of going up are easy to say. The actions — which will be out of your comfort zone, not easy for you, and won’t be a smooth ride — are a whole other story. So when you offer someone the chance to take that ride with you and they don’t want to, they very well could try to discourage you from taking it. Not because they don’t want the best for you, but because you taking that ride means leaving them behind. And the people closest to you don’t want that.

People will use all kind of rational sounding arguments to sway you — My friend tried it! It’s a waste of time! You’re gonna spend money and not get a return! Why do you need to do that anyway? What’s wrong with what you have now? No one from here ever succeeds at that! You won’t follow through anyway, why even start? — And often they succeed. Scaring you away from your life.

And at first it feels good. The anxiety of stepping out of your comfort zone is gone. You relax again because you know you’re in familiar surroundings and won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. It’s almost like you dodged a bullet. You have a huge sense of relief.

For a day or two. Then you realize you’re right back where you started.

Then you feel regret. Regret that you were scared of taking that step. That you allowed someone to tell you what was best for you. That you still don’t have a plan for moving forward with your life after you just cancelled on a great possibility. And you want to reach back and see if it’s still available…

But you can’t. For fear of what people — the ones you passed on and the ones who convinced you to — will think of you. For fear of looking like someone who doesn’t know his own mind (which is accurate). For fear of having to go through the same cycle again. So you rationalize your decision and make it seem, in your mind, as if you did the right thing when you know you didn’t. And that feeling eats at you from the inside for the rest of your life. It never goes away.

All because you let someone scare you away from doing what you wanted to do, being who you wanted to be, and growing how you wanted to grow. The thing is, in the end none of those people will be around when you have to look your dead potential in the face. When you have to look in the mirror and realize you’re less than who you could’ve become. You’ll be there by yourself, wondering why you took advice from people who didn’t have to live with the results of that advice. Then you’ll realize you’re facing death. Of your dreams, of your potential, of your real life. And then, and only then, you’ll start living.

I hope there’s something left.

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