I was at a restaurant with this chick I’d been seeing.
This eatery was a nice place, connected to the hotel / condominium she lived at. Rent was damn near $4,000 / month. I liked staying at her place because this place — it was literally a resort — had everything: multiple full gyms, three or four pools, a full class schedule (yoga, boot camp, Pilates, etc), the beach for a backyard.
She had an ocean view and a private roof deck. A hot tub in her bathroom. The building staff washed and folded her laundry to her exact specifications. All the parking was valet. The valet drivers carried groceries or anything else she asked from her car to her front door.
The resort had a few restaurants, too.
At one of those restaurants this particular morning, the waiter came by and took our drink order. She said something nasty to the waiter before he left the table that caught my attention.
While I have a pretty good memory, I don’t remember exactly what she said to the waiter; I do recall that it was very bitchy and a clear put-down of the worker. I remember asking her about what she’d said when the waiter was out of earshot.
She said something about establishing dominance. I remember one quote from her terse response.
“You have to establish who’s boss.”
I told her that we were eating at the restaurant at this resort — where she LIVED. He was serving us. I think it was pretty clear to the waiter that she/we had more power than he had.
She didn’t have much of substance to say back to it. We never talked about it again.
That relationship didn’t last. While she was a good girl, she was a bit too much into herself for a relationship at the time, and a bit TOO much of a bitch, even for my liking.
The author of one of my favorite books, Lucius Seneca, wrote, “treat your inferiors as you would be treated by your betters.”
Many have been credited with another: “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”
It’s not that I was so offended by what the chick said to the waiter that day; I don’t even remember her exact words, and it’s not like I stormed out and broke up with her on the spot, either. But I do remember how I felt when I heard it, and I remember her defending it. I remember it enough to be talking about it now.
And I’m sure the waiter felt something too.
In my experience, the most successful people and often also the nicest people. When you have success, however you define it for yourself, you don’t need to be rude or put anyone down. When you know and are secure with your level of success, you don’t need to “establish” that you’re above someone else.
The fact that you can afford to be nice and gracious to people unconsciously signals that you’re not defending anything, and thus don’t have anything to prove to anyone. That alone is the clearest way to display the success that you’ve already experienced internally.
Remember the process to success: BEING a person of success is the first step. The actions follow, the results follow that.
A successful person knows, from the inside-out, that they are already proven. They don’t need to show it off by reminding anyone of it — especially those who are (seemingly) beneath them.
If you’re ready to make that BEING real for you, join me in Work On Your Game University so we can establish the mentality that makes it real — which means the actions and results are soon to follow.
Learn more about Work On Your Game University at http://WorkOnYourGameUniversity.com