When I used to sell gym memberships, people would take a tour of the facilities and then I’d sit them down in my office and present the membership options. One of two things would happen:
- They’d sign up for a membership. Ching-Ching!!
- They say, “I have to think about it” and never return.
Most of the people in group 2 had already decided, for whatever reason, that their real answer was, “No.” But looking another person in the eye and saying no is a traumatic episode for a lot of folks. So we avoid at all costs. That’s why we just stop returning calls and texts when we’re done with a guy/girl we decide we don’t like anymore. Very rare do you get a, “Look, I’m not interested. So there’s no need for nay further discussion on this topic, Ok?” (<– Actual statement from a guy I followed up with on a membership purchase while working at Philadelphia Sports Clubs in 2007).
A few months ago I called a girl I had dated and told her I saw us as just being friends going forward (which really is not true — we haven’t actually hung out or even communicated in any way since). She said, “I respect that.” Which she should, because I could have easily just stopped calling her and ended things that way.
[Now, I do know that is isn’t so simple for women, who may run ton a very persistent/needy/eager/thirsty man who will call and text for an extended period, stop for months, and return back to it out of the blue. I’ve heard about these men first hand from several women. Ladies: A lot of men do not “just get the hint” — you gotta be direct about it. Or just consistent in ignoring them. Your choice, I guess.]
People don’t need to think about shit. They already know their answer. Thinking about it is just the easy, “chicken-close” (salesperson jargon) way of getting away from you.